Connecting to your sexuality is about body and mind and energy all at the same time.
Because it is not just about your body, let’s start with the mind. What are your current beliefs about your sexuality and sexuality in general? What societal beliefs did you grow up with? Do you agree with those? What past experiences have you had? What did they teach you? Do you think those lessons are true? Lastly, what are your current needs in this area?
Your sexual needs might include things like safety, trust, a healthy regular partner, more frequency, less frequency or specific types of exploration. You may have past trauma that you need to let go of. Or you might need to take a break from sexuality for a while. That is OK too. As always, be honest with yourself.
Few subjects can bring up feelings of guilt, shame, unworthiness and inadequacy like sexuality. It is rare to get to adulthood and NOT have some feelings or issues to work out in this area. Look to not just your experiences but even your childhood for clues as to why you feel that way. How were you raised? What lessons did your parents inadvertently teach you just by the way they treated each other? Understand WHY you feel the way you do and have compassion for yourself as human.
Sexuality can be a powerful catalyst for connecting to the energy in your body. Many people will say that they cannot feel energy in their body. However, sexual energy is energy too. The next time your are enjoying your sexuality, alone or with another, place your attention on the feelings in your body. Feel the energy rise and move up from your root chakra. Breathe deeply and slowly and imagine the energy flowing down and out when you exhale and up and higher when you inhale. Take a pause at the top and bottom of each breath and see what happens then.
Sexuality, in its most positive forms, is about a merging of body, mind and energy in a way that can connect us more deeply to ourselves and our partner. In this way, being connected to your own sexuality can also help you connect to others, to see their humanity and their needs. Encourage your partner to explore their own sexuality in this way. If you can provide a safe and trusted place where you can both be open and honest, you will be amazed at the result. Connections will deepen and your reward will be ever more exciting and fulfilling experiences both in and out of the bedroom.
