In the last stage (Stage Two), you focused on listing your needs and making sure they are met. The importance of meeting your needs has not changed just because you have evolved. However, it is time to understand your connection to those needs in more detail. Some things are true needs: food, clothing, shelter, safety, sleep, and the categories that you worked with in Stage Two. Sometimes you may convince yourself that you need something else: a new gadget, car, job, partner, etc.
When you feel that you NEED something, ask yourself why. Keep asking why until you get to the truth (usually at least five times). The truth is that you think you need it because it will make you FEEL a certain way.
For example, maybe you think you need a new car. Why? Is your old one broken down and cannot be fixed for what it is worth? You are worried about getting to work. A new car would make you feel safe. Or is your current car just fine but this new car will make you feel successful? Will it help you forget about your debt? Because you think maybe then you will finally have the attention of the women or men you desire? Because you ultimately feel unworthy and incomplete? Are you expecting this car to make you whole? Are you expecting it to make you feel worthy of the love and respect that you withhold from yourself? Is this car part of a persona you are trying to project? Be brutally honest with yourself.
Once you know the truth of why you think you need something, it is easy to be honest with yourself that you simply want it and to understand why.
Consider the idea that you HAVE needs and wants, but they are not you. You need sleep, but you are more than your need for sleep. You need food, sex, human connection, income, and many other things. But you are more than your need for food. You are more than your need for human connection. What do you have to offer this world? Beyond your needs; beyond your wants?
As you realize that you are not your needs, but you HAVE needs, don’t forget that you still need to attend to your needs. Although they are not you, if you do not attend to them, you can easily fall into spending extra time in this stage.
