Hate is a funny thing. It is contradictory to itself and simultaneously reveals a person’s truth. From what I have observed… People lash out against the people they secretly want to be while shouting messages of affirmation because they secretly believe the opposite to be true. Consider any hate group or individually hateful person, from the worst, down to just someone who seems to put others down. Who are they lashing out at? That is who they are jealous of. What is their message? In their hearts, they believe the opposite.
For example,
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KKK – hates African-Americans, and certain other minority’s and religious groups, and shouts a message that whites are superior. Why? They secretly fear that whites are inferior.
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BLM – hates white people and shouts a message that black lives are more important. Why? Because they secretly fear they are inferior to whites and believe that black lives are not important.
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ISIS – hates everyone who is not them, with particular emphasis on western cultures, and shouts a message that the caliphate and its strict sharia law is the only way; join or die. Why? Because they secretly feel inferior to more westernized religions that allow more freedom.
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North Korea – hates the US, Japan, and other world powers (except China because they need them on their side), and shouts a message that N Korea is a mighty power to be reckoned with. Why? Because they secretly fear they are a tiny and irrelevant nation, and inferior to those countries that actually do have power on the world stage.
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Radical Feminists – and by that I mean those who would wish harm on men. They hate men and shout a message that men are irrelevant and inferior. Why? Because they secretly know that their lives are incomplete without some component of masculine properties and they feel inferior without those properties.
It would seem that all the violent or nonviolent hateful people are such because they feel inferior to someone and therefore lash out against them shouting affirmations of their own superiority.
I am guilty of the same. When my parents shunned me in favor of my ex, I felt unloved and inferior to him. I lashed out at my parents for making me feel that way, and I lashed out at my ex, all the while shouting affirmations that I was worthy. Once I accepted my own humanity, and that of my parents and my ex, I no longer felt unworthy or inferior, even in the face of their continued preference for my ex, and I no longer lashed out at any of them, nor did I shouted affirmations.
So, in theory, one could avoid the hate of others by never making them feel inferior and by affirming their worthiness and humanity. It’s a lovely thought, albeit naive. You see, you cannot make another person feel something. If they feel inferior, it is because they chose to feel it. Just as you cannot make someone happy if they do not want to be happy, you cannot make someone feel inferior if they do not want to.
There will always be those who make themselves feel inferior to you by no action of your own. You can certainly lessen the hate coming your way by not suggesting that anyone is inferior to you, but you cannot eliminate the fact that some people will “hate ya cause they ain’t ya.”
On a different spoke of the wheel, we can see that people who do not feel inferior to anyone do not act in hateful ways. They are not jealous of anyone, do not put others down, and also, importantly, do not feel superior to anyone. In fact, they do not compare themselves to others at all. They can celebrate the successes of others and empathize with losses without judgement. This is an ideal state of mind that brings contentment, and a lens of honesty by which we can see our own strengths, weaknesses, mistakes and triumphs and those of others without judging us or them. To do this is to see our full humanity and that of others. And THAT is an ideal worth chasing.
