Welcome! You woke up recently and something was different. It’s like someone else was looking out of your eyes at you in the mirror. You can’t shake the feeling of dissatisfaction with certain aspects of your life and the even greater feeling that there is something significant that you don’t know.
You are in the right place. Start here.
I was 31 when I woke up. I remember it vividly. I looked in the mirror like I had been asleep in the car and someone else had driven us into a ditch. I did not like where things were going physically or financially, or career-wise and I felt like there was something really important that I was completely clueless about. I wanted to take the journey that so many others had taken – the journey of self-development and self-understanding towards a more fulfilling life. This journey has taken me more than a decade to date of walking through some of the worst and best times in my life. What I wish I had back then was a roadmap for self-development. I wish I had something to guide me on what to do first, and what to do next, and the next step after that, etc. If I had been handed a roadmap to self-development back then, I might have gotten to this point a LOT sooner and with a lot less pain. Perhaps 12 years could have been more like 2 and many mistakes and wasted effort could have been avoided. If I had a roadmap, I might have been able to get quickly to my purpose, and a life of peace and joy. So this roadmap is for you. May it guide you on your journey and speed you to where you want to be, wherever that is.
A Word Of Caution
This journey will not be instant. Depending on where you are in your development, you may have significant baggage to unpack and you may have major mistakes in your life that you will need to correct. Your circle of friends and family may change dramatically. If you are with the wrong person, you are about to find out the hard way. If you are in the wrong career, that too is about to become clear. That dissatisfaction you feel is based in your soul and to feel the kind of satisfaction you seek, you will need to face the realities of your past choices and start consciously making better ones.
If you are lucky, perhaps you are not too far off the mark, in which case you will get there even faster. Even if you are with the right person and in the right career, this journey is not easy. You will face yourself – your beautiful reality and your dark side. Your humanity will be laid bare for you to see and you will be challenged to love yourself, not in spite of your humanity, but because of it. On the other side of this journey is a life so amazing and joyous; peaceful and content, that words will fail and all you will feel is gratitude for each day. It is so worth it.
If you currently enjoy a particular religion, great! You can use this process to get closer to your religion and develop a level of faith that can be very satisfying. However, the path to get there includes questioning everything and growing to see your deity in a higher, more expanded role and from a less anthropomorphic perspective. Ultimately, you will come to recognize the immensity of your deity’s reach and what they have gifted you. If this is uncomfortable, please think twice.
Please think long and hard about whether you are ready and if you want this badly enough. There is nothing wrong with putting this down right now and walking away. If you choose to proceed, you alone are responsible for what happens; good, bad, wonderful, ecstatic, amazing, terrifying, and all.
If and when you are ready, read on.
Your Destination Is Unique – The Road To Get There Is NOT
Reflecting on my own journey, I wondered if what I went through was unique. I found it was not at all unique. I found that many before me had documented stages of human development and suggested a series of stages that we all go through. Keagan did some great work on social stages. Fowler did some great work on religious stages. Then I did my own digging around. Clearly, people like the Dali Lama. Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Mandela, and other significant figures had gotten much farther. What were their additional stages? In the end, I found that each of these sets of stages had significant overlap and linked up nicely to form a single coherent path of development. Below is the result.
Although your hopes and dreams and the life you ultimately want to craft for yourself are completely unique to you, what you are experiencing right now in your desire for self-development is not unique. You are in great company. Each of us here in the human experience develops along the same path from birth. There are eleven stages of development that you CAN experience. (That does not guarantee that you will.)
Almost everyone wakes up at some point in their lives (usually between stages three and six). Some call it a midlife crisis. These days there is also a quarter-life crisis. Some people wake up much later and some not at all. Some wake up and decide to not take the journey and essentially go back to sleep. Earlier stages are not lesser; in fact, they are essential and must be completed, or you will keep being pulled back into them again and again. The large majority of people in the western world do not make it past stages five or six and spend most of their days there, happily enough.
Let me explain..
These eleven stages are not a staircase or a straight line of milestones to be achieved. They are a circle – a cycle of human development that we traverse over and over, trying to pick up the pieces and complete stages as we revisit them over the course of our lives. Even as you spend more time in later stages, you will periodically be pulled back to earlier stages by major life events (injury, family issues, election cycles, etc). You cannot avoid coming around the cycle again and again BUT you can spend a lot less time in these earlier stages where life is hard and negative emotions dominate; and you can spend a lot more time in later stages where life is easy, joyous, fulfilling and peaceful.
Stage one and stage eleven are essentially the same (with some added richness). The irony that we enter this world with the right idea and then must work our way back to it, does not escape me. The universe has a sense of humor.
Ask yourself: which stage do you find yourself in most of the time? As you go through your day, try to step back from yourself and see where you are on this cycle. Some days, you might traverse the entire cycle in one day. Other days might find you squarely in one stage or another.
Based on the stage where you tend to spend the most time, you have some work to do. Each stage has a set of important tasks that must be addressed and questions that you can use to help complete that stage and move you to the next. If you leave something undone at one stage, you can be guaranteed that life will bring you back there again soon to keep working. So be proactive yet patient about it and try to complete each stage’s tasks as you go.
It may be most efficient to start from the beginning and pick up any pieces you may have left undone in earlier stages. Most adults wake up between stages five and six, but have significant taksks still to do from stages one through four. Leaving these tasks undone means you will be pulled back to these stages instead of moving forward. It will delay your development.
Below is a quick reference guide for each stage’s characteristics, tasks and some helpful questions. It helps to keep a journal (on paper or electronic, etc) to track your thinking and progress. There are nuances to these tasks so it’s worth reading as much material from as many authors as you can to help you in each stage. To that end, I have recommended books in each stage that I have personally found helpful. You should also seek out other books, blogs, podcasts, etc to give you as much perspective as possible.
It is my hope that this can serve as a roadmap for you as you seek to understand your self, your world, your place in it, and the kind of life you want to create for yourself.
Before You Begin – Physical, Mental and Financial Safety
Establish safety. If you are not in a safe environment physically, mentally or financially, you need to change that immediately.
If you are being abused physically or mentally, be it verbal or emotional or psychological, LEAVE NOW. Do a bit of planning to take your children and yourself to a safe environment. Take all the money and other necessities you can manage and GO. You may think at this moment that you are not strong enough, but you are. We all are. You have no idea how beautiful life can be on the other side of your fear. Please contact family, friends, the police as needed, local organizations or even your doctor (any doctor for that matter). All of these people can help you get out and establish a safe environment where you can craft a beautiful life without fear.
If your finances are a mess, gather a $1000 emergency fund as fast as possible. Sell everything, get a second job (or a third) but make this happen FAST before you begin this process. Why? Because self development is next to impossible when you live in fear of the next car repair or other financial issue. This is Dave Ramsey’s “baby step #1.” It puts you more at ease while you get the rest of your life together (finance and all).
LET’S GO!
Once you have established physical, mental and financial basic safety, you are ready to get started. Start from stage one and pick up any tasks and questions that you have not already done, any that you have not done in a long time, and any that you think you could do better.
STAGE 1 – Everything Is Me
Characteristics
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A newborn infant, or like a newborn infant
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Experiences, reflexes, needs, etc are all part of you
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Other people are not separate from you
Tasks
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Grounding
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Declutter your schedule, your attention and your spaces to focus on this process. Consider it an investment in your future and a key component in getting your life together.
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Choose a form of meditation or prayer. Set aside some time each day and hold it sacred. 30 minutes is recommended but even five minutes is a great start.
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Trust
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Understand The Emotional Roots Of Your Choices
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Learn To Trust Yourself
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Learn To Trust Your Universe/River/God/etc
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Books
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Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
Challenges
When you are in this stage, you can tend to obsess over the stories of your past and present; times when you were wronged. You can tend to focus on describing your current situation (for the story you will tell about it later), rather than making conscious choices about what you want your situation to be and taking action to change it. You can also feel overwhelmed at the journey ahead of you.
Questions To Move You To The Next Stage
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What experiences have shaped you? In what ways? What did you learn from these experiences? About yourself, about others, about the world, about life?
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Do you think these lessons are true?
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Was there a time when you acted out of reflex? Are you the human animal that acted? Or the witness inside?
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Within each of these experiences, consider each person involved – can you see their humanity? (if not, it’s OK…).
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Within each of your experiences, can you see YOUR humanity? What were the emotional roots of your choices and actions? Be honest. How did it turn out?
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Can you see that you are not your experiences?
STAGE 2 – I Am Everything Except Experiences And Reflexes
Characteristics
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A young infant or child
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Impulsive
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A sense of the universe or divine, you define it as safe or unsafe in general, based on your experiences
Tasks
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Connect To Experiences
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Manifest the experiences you want, understanding that they teach you but are not you.
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Don’t waste time on the past, except to see how far you have come and to be thankful for that.
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Connect To Your Needs
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Evolve your list of needs as you learn about yourself and grow.
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Keep this list of needs somewhere close so that you can refer to it.
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Connect to your body
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Ensure that you are getting enough sleep
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Make time for regenerative activities such as hot baths, time alone, massage, exercise, meditation or prayer, etc.
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Start moving – choose a form of movement and engage with it every day.
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Books
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Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Challenges
In this stage, you can tend to neglect your needs by simply not knowing what they are. Traumatic events and major life experiences can pull you back to this stage as you try to process what has occurred and detach from it. That takes real effort and your needs can sometimes be neglected as they may have changed.
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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What kind of experiences do you want in the future?
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Do you see the universe / your deity as safe or unsafe? Why?
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What are your needs? List them out: physical, nutritional, mental, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, financial, etc.
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Do you really need that? Or are you afraid of something? Why do you need that? Dig deep.
STAGE 3 – I Am My Needs
Characteristics
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Focused on what you perceive as your needs: food, sleep, attention, etc and in later years, sex, money, etc.
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Other people are not individuals with needs but reflexes you can bring to bear to fulfill your own needs.
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Religion is learned through stories, experiences, images and people; Sense is made of religion based on how it can help fulfill needs; what it can do for you.
Tasks
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Connect to your sexuality.
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Connect to the humanity of others through their needs
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Connect with yourself beyond your needs
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As you realize that you are not your needs, but you HAVE needs, don’t forget that you still need to attend to your needs. Although they are not you, if you do not attend to them, you can easily fall into spending extra time in this stage.
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Connect with your internal energy and feelings
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Connect with your money – eliminate the chains of debt servitude from your life.
Books
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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
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Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
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Anything by Margot Anand
Challenges
This is a very self-focused stage where you need to defend and fulfill your needs. However, it can be a stage where others are neglected as the collateral damage of your self-focused efforts. This can lead to alienating friends and family. It can turn you into a self-centered jerk that no one wants to be around. You must find a way to balance the fulfillment of your needs without using others and without disregarding the fact that they have needs too. This stage is very common in children and some young adults. Crisis, Injury, surgery, and other medical issues will easily draw you back to this stage at any age. However, this self-focused stage is a great time to start examining your baggage from past relationships, and childhood as well as an ideal stage to get out of debt (or at least start that process).
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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Are you nothing but your need for food, etc? Are you nothing but your need for sex? Don’t you have something else to offer this world?
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If you are not your needs, what are you?
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What are you feeling?
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What baggage do you have from childhood?
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What limiting beliefs did you pick up from your parents that may be wrong for you?
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What baggage do you have from past relationships?
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What limiting beliefs did you pick up along the way that may need to be replaced?
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What is your baggage signal? How do you know when you have just triggered some baggage? (Yelling, anger, crying, shutting down, something else?)
STAGE 4 – Others Have Needs Too (I Am My Needs And Others Are Their Needs)
Characteristics
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You see others as individuals with needs of their own; it is not their job to fulfill your needs.
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You practice with prioritizing your needs above or below others and others above or below each other
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Conscience, guilt, shame, and empathy are now possible and even likely (but can also be faked!)
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Your deity is seen as a personified, anthropomorphic, named being who is focused on justice.
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You take religious metaphors, stories & symbolism literally.
Tasks
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Connect to Others
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Find ways to help others fulfill their needs.
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Connect to yourself
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Attend to your needs
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Reflect on your past when you find patterns affecting you today
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Define your value set / beliefs / ideologies and put it into practice
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Understand that your beliefs/ideology will evolve with you and that’s natural and a good thing. Be ready to evolve your ideologies as you learn and experience new things and perspectives.
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Connect to your money
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solidify your savings engine.
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if you are not yet out of debt, double down on your efforts.
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If you are debt free (good job!), think about the funds you will need in the future and save, save, save.
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Books
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Your religious text(s) of choice
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Principles by Ray Dalio
Challenges
Although this stage is far less self-centered, it is still focused on your own needs. Financial strain, work stress and other situations that cause scarcity can pull you back to this stage. Fear of loss reigns supreme along with the fear of not having your needs met. There can be a lot of guilt, regret and shame in this stage when reflecting on your past actions. If there are people that you need to apologize to, this is a good time to do it.
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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Are their situations when you used others to fulfill your own needs, without regard to theirs? How would you handle those situations differently?
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What are you feeling?
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Who do you need to apologize to? Can you reach out to them?
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Can you let go of your past now and move forward?
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How do you currently prioritize your needs over or under those of others? Would you like to change that in order to find balance? Do you prioritize others too much above yourself? Or do you prioritize yourself too much above others? What should your principles be for prioritizing your needs and the needs of those you care about?
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What, according to your religion or other sources, should be the guiding principles of your life? Do you agree with those? How would you edit them for YOUR life?
STAGE 5 – I Am My Value Set / Ideology / Religion / Beliefs
Characteristics
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You define yourself based on a set of social, moral, political and/or religious values.
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You have a strong sense of the need for laws and ethical codes.
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Anything that conflicts with your ideology is ignored or attacked.
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When you see or hear something that conflicts with your ideology, you feel offended.
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You can tend to see people with other ideologies as lesser or lower than you, or not human at all, or deserving of bad things.
Tasks
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Connect to yourself
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Read about other ideologies – political, social, religious – read it all from an anthropological viewpoint. Don’t read to change your mind. Just read to say, “isn’t that interesting.”
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When you feel offended, step back from that feeling and recognize that you, as a human in this stage, are prone to feel offended when you encounter something that goes against your ideology because your ideology (at this point) IS you and your mind sees it as an attack on your very self.
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Resist the urge to attack or be rude to others who think differently than you. It may feel justified right now but will be yet one more thing you will have to forgive yourself for in later stages.
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If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
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Return to your principles… based on new experiences, do they need to be updated? How will your new principles alter your ideology on specific issues of religion, politics, social/moral issues, and how you might interact with others, yourself and the world?
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Consider that you HAVE an ideology, but you are so much more.
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Connect to others
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Imagine someone you know that has a different opinion or ideology than you. Now put yourself in their shoes – can you see how something in their current daily life, childhood or past would make them think that way? Given how they grew up and what they have experienced, does it make sense that they might believe that? Repeat this exercise for as many people as you can think of: family, friends, coworkers, political figures, etc.
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Feel their humanity and see that they are on the same path that you are. Understand that if they are also in this stage, they may attack or ignore you if you try to sway them. So do not try to sway them, or anyone else. You will be ignored, or attacked and will ultimately not sway anyone.
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Don’t forget to
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Stay Connected To Your Energy and Feelings
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Stay connected to your body – movement, sexuality, health
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Stay connected to your money – resist debt in any form, maintain your savings engine and save for your dreams.
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Maintain your needs
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Update your principles and ideology as new experiences shape you
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Books
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Every religious text you can get your hands on (the Bible, The Torah, The Qur’an, The Bhagavad Gita, The Tao Te Ching, The Dhammapada, etc),
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The political platforms of each major party in your country and those of other countries (yes, all of them).
Challenges
This stage is very challenging because you feel offended and shocked more often than you feel anything else. And just when you think you are beyond this, there is nothing like a good election cycle, news program or religious retreat to pull you back into your ideology. Reading headlines focused on defending and attacking ideologies (political, religious or otherwise) will keep you in this stage far longer than is necessary and will only exacerbate the negatives of this stage. While it is important to HAVE an ideology just to get through your day and make good choices, it is more important to avoid swinging it at everyone who may feel differently. The biggest challenge in this stage is to have and evolve an ideology but to keep it on the shelf instead of wearing it. Your ideology is there for reference, but you are so much more.
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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What aspects or big ideas or underlying truths from other religious texts, other political platforms and other ways of thinking do you connect with?
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Are there some changes you would like to make to update your own principles or ideologies?
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Could you reframe your ideology around larger principles instead of specific issues?
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If you are not your ideology, not your needs, not your experiences…. what are you? Are you ready to maybe not know for a while?
STAGE 6 – To Each Their Own (I Am My Ideology And Others Are Theirs)
Characteristics
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You can put yourself in other people’s shoes and feel what it is like to be them. As such you can see why they would have a different ideology and what that would be.
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You can consider other ideologies without feeling like yours is being attacked, and without attacking others.
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You reflect on the inconsistencies and complexities of your ideologies and are comfortable with them.
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…But you think there might be something more… a larger perspective or truth that you are missing
Tasks
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Connect to yourself
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Return to your own ideology: social, political and religious, with new eyes – detail the cracks – the inconsistencies, hypocrisies and conflicts.
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Look in the mirror and see the person causing 99% of all your problems.
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Forgive and accept yourself as human.
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Connect to your body
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Set specific, measurable, and attainable goals with near term milestones.
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Connect to your heart
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See that you are worthy of your own love and of the infinite love inside you.
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Connect to others
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See everyone as a reflection of some aspect of your current, past or future self. Connect to the divine light inside them.
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Forgive and accept others as human.
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Forgive and accept the existence of aspects of society that you previously rejected (groups of people, norms/standards, societal rules, etc).
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Don’t forget to
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Stay Connected To Your Energy and Feelings
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Stay connected to your body – movement, sexuality, health
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Stay connected to your money – resist debt in any form, maintain your savings engine and save for your dreams.
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Maintain your needs
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Update your principles and ideology as new experiences shape you
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Consider if you are ready to go on the journey that the next few steps entail, as it will mean that your circle of friends and family, your work, sense of self, etc, may change, sometimes drastically so. Do not proceed until you have addressed forgiveness of yourself and others, and you have become debt free.
Books
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The Four Hour Body by Tim Ferriss
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Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.
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How To Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
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The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
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Peaks and Valleys by Spenser Johnson
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Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson
Challenges
There are far fewer challenges in this stage. You feel much happier with your life. Although you are still defined by your ideology, you are living in a bit of a fantasy world in thinking that your ideology is perfect, or that the inconsistencies are OK. Many adults stay very happily in this stage for life. The treadmill of work, sleep, work, sleep can be a lifelong endeavor and can feel purposeful if you have work that you love. If however, you, like most, feel that call to figure out the truth of your self and your life and to design a life of peace, joy, excitement, or anything else you want… proceed to stage seven.
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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Consider your ideology – political, religious, social, moral, etc. Where are the cracks? Where are the inconsistencies? Is there a set of larger principles that could guide you more effectively?
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List out the problems you currently face – how are you responsible for them? How can you take responsibility for changing them?
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What do you need to forgive yourself for?
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What do you need to forgive others for?
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What is it to forgive?
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How much money can you save up and how fast?
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What is it to feel worthy of your own love?
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What is it to connect with others on all levels – intellectual, heart, soul, truth, energy?
STAGE 7 – Questioning Everything (I Am A Child Of The Universe/Divine/God/Allah/Etc)
Characteristics
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In an effort to understand what you are missing, you question everything
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You realize that happiness cannot be found in the outside world. This is a source of disappointment but also of hope.
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You reject ALL ideologies for now while you question them.
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Previous doubts become meaningful, actionable questions.
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Sometimes you feel lonely because others are still devoted to their ideologies and they don’t understand why you are questioning it.
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You tend to question and undertake this stage in private because of the risk of being alienated from your friends and/or communities.
Tasks
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Connect to your faith
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Understand that questioning your religion is not going against it – questioning your religion is deep exploration that can bring your closer to your beliefs, or refine them in ways that will bring you closer to the divine.
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Question everything
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Religious teachings, social standards, political stances, societal norms, life choices, your lifestyle, your work… let nothing be immune from your exploration.
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Question if it is true, or right for you, or what you really want, or what parts align with you or not.
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Read and explore what others have found the answers to be, but focus on what the answer is for YOU.
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Do not try to make others join you in this questioning if they are not ready. This is YOUR journey, not theirs.
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Connect to yourself
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Practice being mindful of your thoughts and feelings.
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Identify the beliefs about yourself, your life, others and your world put into your mind by your parents, by friends, and by society. Decide if they are healthy/right for you.
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Identify your own behaviors that are sabotaging you.
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Dig deep to uncover your own pain from the past and work through it.
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Decide who and what you want to be – more caring? Complete unto yourself? At peace? etc. Quiet your mind and ask how you can achieve these in a healthy way.
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Connect to the infinite silence/peace
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Sit, be still and listen. Some call this prayer or meditation. The important thing is to quiet the mind to allow the answers to come. There are many ways to do this. Explore them.
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Don’t forget to:
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Stay Connected To Your Energy and feelings
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Stay connected to your body – movement, sexuality, health
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Stay connected to your money – resist debt in any form, maintain your savings engine and save for your dreams.
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Maintain your needs
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Update your principles and ideology as new experiences shape you
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See and accept your own humanity and the humanity of others
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Books
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The Power of No by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher
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Walden by Henry David Thoreau
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Play It Away by Charlie Hoehen
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Sway by Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman
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Life Lessons by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. and David Kessler
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The Subtle Are Of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson
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Essentialism by Greag McKeown
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Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau
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Enough by Patrick Rhone
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Vagabonding by Ralph Potts
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Deep Meditation by Yogani
Challenges
DO NOT MAKE ANY DRASTIC CHANGES IN THIS STAGE! Your best course is to try and not do anything stupid during this phase – no major purchases, no new debt, no job changes, no relationship changes, etc until you make it to Stage 8 and have a level of stability and a clearer mind. Stage seven is all about tearing down everything that everyone else told you life should be and what you should do, questioning that, and deciding for yourself what you want your self and your life to be. You will want to define that clearly before you make any major changes other than nutrition, exercise, and meditation or prayer. Get through this stage as fast as you can but COMPLETE it so that you will not be pulled back here very often.
This is by far the hardest stage. If you have baggage from your childhood, or past loves, etc that you have not addressed before, this is where you will have to deal with it. If you can be a bit of a hermit during this stage you may thank yourself later.
This stage is also where you are most likely to be depressed and to feel hopeless or that life is pointless. Existential crises are normal here. Understand that this is a natural part of your development and will pass with time and effort.
Because of the existential nature of this stage, it is more important than ever to maintain connection to your mind, body, self, others, needs, etc. Keep up your efforts to save money, improve your nutrition, maintain some kind of exercise or movement, and all the other skills you have gathered so far.
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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How can you be more kind to yourself?
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What unfinished business do you have? Baggage, limiting beliefs, forgiveness?
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Who do you want to be?
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What do you want your life to FEEL like?
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Can you sense deep in yourself, the infinite peace that the universe/divine put inside you? Can you connect to that?
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What survived your questioning? What are the right beliefs, principles, standards, work and lifestyles for YOU right now?
STAGE 8 – I Am A Child Of The Universe/Divine
Characteristics
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You cycle through several belief sets trying to find one that fits and then eventually, instead of rejecting all ideologies, you actively examine them to find what parts are true.
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You see connections and relationships between ideologies.
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You see the interdependent truth at the heart of all ideologies and use THAT to anchor yourself.
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You surrender to not knowing all the answers.
Tasks
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Connect to the universal truth
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As you read, think and grow, take note of what is common among all beliefs, among all religions, among all political ideologies, etc. – What are the connections or relationships between them? What is common to them all?
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Let it be OK to not know all the answers right now. Let go and let be. Sit, quiet your mind and let the answers come to you in their own time.
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Connect to the Silent Observer
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Connect to your future
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Connect to your purpose – identify it
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Connect to your personal truth
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Connect to others – can you see their truth now? Can you see their heart? Can you see their humanity? Can you see what stage they are in at the moment? Practice!
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Don’t forget to
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Stay Connected To Your Energy
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Stay connected to your body – movement, feelings/energy, sexuality, health
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Stay connected to your money – resist debt in any form, maintain your savings engine and save for your dreams.
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Maintain your needs
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Update your principles and ideology as new experiences shape you
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See and accept your own humanity and the humanity of others
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Question everything and seek the honest truth, even if it does not agree with your current ideologies or what you would hope is the truth.
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Connect to the infinite peace/divine inside you
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Books
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The War of Art By Steven Pressfield
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The 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss
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Wherever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabatt Zinn
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The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna
Challenges
In this stage it it now much safer to begin designing your ideal life and making changes. Think through those changes carefully. Take your time so that you might be able to implement your ideal life more efficiently and effectively.
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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With any decision you make, what is the emotional root of this choice? Fear? Greed? Joy? Purpose? Be honest with yourself. Avoid decisions based on negative emotions.
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What do you want your life to be? What do you want to FEEL?
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What is your purpose here? What is your unique contribution to this world?
STAGE 9 – I Am A Consciousness Trapped In This Body
Characteristics
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You see religions, people, ideologies, places, and everything as one coherent whole with love at the heart of it all
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You see that there is no self in the usual sense – you are a consciousness separate from your body and can feel the differences between your physical self and your internal consciousness
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You don’t blame anyone for anything
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You have a sense of your purpose
Tasks
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Connect to this moment
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Connect to your intuition
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Connect to your purpose – make a plan
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Connect to your intellect – gather the skills and knowledge you will need to forward your purpose.
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Form a more compl
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Don’t forget to
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Stay Connected To Your Energy
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Stay connected to your body – movement, feelings/energy, sexuality, health
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Stay connected to your money – resist debt in any form, maintain your savings engine and save for your dreams.
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Maintain your needs
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Update your principles and ideology as new experiences shape you
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See and accept your own truth and humanity and that of others
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Question everything and seek the honest truth, even if it does not agree with your current ideologies or what you would hope is the truth.
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Connect to the infinite peace/divine and silent observer inside you
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Books
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The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
Challenges
The major challenge of this stage is to cultivate presence in the NOW. This moment, not the past or the future. It is easier said than done. It is a good challenge to have. This stage is a beautiful and purpose filled place. The joy of acting on your newfound purpose is overwhelming. At the same time, you can feel guilty about this amazing life you are building. You can feel humbled by this gift of insight and connection. But you cannot end the suffering of others by joining them. You CAN, however, offer peace, joy and the example of a path towards a better life. That being said, do not preach. Just live your joy and shine bright.
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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Can you be fully present NOW?
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Can you trust your intuition? What does it tell you?
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How can you manifest your purpose in this world? What skills and knowledge do you need?
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Can you feel the infinite peace and joy inside you? Can you let it flow out of you?
STAGE 10 – I Am The ONE Consciousness
Characteristics
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Realization that there is only one consciousness. You are an extension of that, as is everyone and everything else
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You trust your intuition and begin to listen to it more often, training it to tell you what you need to know
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You live in the moment, not worrying about the future or reliving the past
Tasks
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Connect to higher wisdom
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Connect to the oneness and your influence
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Recognize the triggers that take you out of this stage and make efforts to guard your environment accordingly
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Don’t forget to
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Stay connected to this moment
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Stay connected to your intuition, the infinite peace/divine and silent observer inside you
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Stay Connected To Your Energy, body, feelings, sexuality, health and money, needs, humanity and truth in this moment
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Update your principles and ideology as new experiences shape you
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Books
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Biocentrism by Robert Lanza, MD
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The First Three Minutes by Steven Weinberg
Challenges
The biggest challenge in this stage is maintaining the feeling of oneness that you have with everyone and everything. If you try consciously to maintain it, it fades away. You have to not try, and just be in the now, feeling it, flowing in the moment. Be cognizant of how easily you can be pulled back around the cycle into other stages.
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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What do you want for your life right now? Why?
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What do you feel compelled to do? Is it compelling or impulse?
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What does the energy inside you feel like? Where in your body do you feel it? How does it feel differently in different parts of your body?
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What are the triggers that pull you back around the cycle?
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What practices, guidelines, and processes can you put in place to safeguard your time in this stage?
STAGE 11 – I Am The One Consciousness & The Physical Manifestation Simultaneously And There Is No Difference
Characteristics
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You feel the one consciousness, here in this human body, experiencing what it is like to be human – to ignore your humanity would be to miss out on the experience
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You are matter and energy at the same time. You can consciously choose to experience the moment as either one, or both
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There is no difference between the energy and the physical
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You can consciously influence your reality to actively build an ideal life for yourself and alter it as your ideal evolves.
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You live in purpose, peace and joy
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You connect deeply with yourself, your loved ones, friends and strangers
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You exude a peace and joy that make people want to be near you
Tasks
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Connect to your reality
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Actively and consciously design and create your ideal life and your ideal self.
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Recognize when you are cycling through the stages again.
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Ripples in the water – the strong, consistent signal wins.
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And then what? Enjoy your human existence in all of its most basic aspects as well as its more subtle complexities. Integrate these aspects into your coherent whole.
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Remember that you still have needs, you still have an ideology and you still have a self (all necessary to get through the day) – attend to them, evolve them, but do not ignore them and do not become identified with them.
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Remember that life will take you around the circle many times but YOU are in control of how much time you spend in each stage.
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Seek complete connection with yourself, with others, with this moment, your life at large, your money, your purpose, etc.
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Don’t forget to:
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Stay connected to this moment
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Stay connected to your intuition, the infinite peace/divine and silent observer inside you
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Stay Connected To Your Energy, body, feelings, sexuality, health and money, needs, humanity and truth in this moment
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Update your principles and ideology as new experiences shape you
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Live in your purpose with peace and joy
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Challenges
Maintenance, Maintenance, Maintenance. There is a lot to maintain at this point: your needs, your ideology, your experiences, your sense of connectedness and oneness. Once you have tasted this stage, you may find yourself crafting a life for yourself that will let you spend as much time here as possible. That ideal life will look very different for each of us. As you create space for further (yes, further!) development, you can begin to experiment with actively creating complete connection to yourself, your world, others, etc. Complete connection can help you to return to this stage and stay there as long as possible. In addition to the more active side of creating complete connection, is the passive side of allowing our naturally connected state to exist by removing whatever may be covering it up and blocking it. Actively seek complete connection, and simultaneously relax and allow that complete connection to happen.
Questions To Fuel Your Thinking
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What daily and/or weekly practices can you put in place to process experiences, understand your changing needs and meet them, understand your evolving ideologies and maintain perspective?
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What regular practices can you put in place to create and maintain complete connection to yourself? To others? To this moment? To this world? To the oneness?
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Can you craft an efficient and effective daily routine that helps you spend the maximum time possible in this stage? What would that look like?
