Question: Aren’t we just what we do for work? Because it’s what we spend the most time on. So isn’t that really the measure of who we are?
This is a really interesting question that is a lot more revealing than it may seem at first. Let’s take this piece by piece. First, is our work the ultimate measure of who we are? God, I hope not. Because some of us are in professions we are not proud of, some of us are in professions we just don’t like, and some of us are retired and not in any profession at all. What you do for money is what you do for money. And then when you choose to no longer do for money, but to let your money do for you, who are you then?
If you are only “engineer,” or “teacher,” or “janitor,” then there is nothing unique about you. You are in no way special. You are just a cog in the machine and easily replaced. Maybe that’s true but it kind of sucks.
So let’s widen it. Maybe it’s not what you do for money but just how you spend the majority of your time. Are you what you spend the most time on. Again. I really hope not. Some of us spend the large majority of time on things we would rather not. Some of us are spending large amounts of time recovering from injury or illness. If all we see of you is your cancer recovery, we are missing so much more of your full reality. Even if you spend the largest portion of your time saving the children or making major contributions to your community, aren’t we only getting part of the story? Who are you, in those other hours? Aren’t you husband, wife, lover, son, daughter, friend? Aren’t you dreams and disappointment? Triumph and tragedy? Aren’t you personal AND professional? Who are you in those quiet hours, alone with your thoughts? Who are you, this human BEING in this moment?
And there is another underlying issue here. Yes, there are times in our life when work does, in fact, take up the majority of our day. But if work is taking up more than twelve hours of every day, long term, into your golden years, that is a conscious choice. You are avoiding yourself. You are hiding from the questions that infiltrate your mind in the quiet hours. You are refusing to face your own reality, and the reality of your humanity. You are refusing to connect with yourself, with others, and with life itself. Even if your work makes a world of difference to someone else, you are missing out on this life. You are missing out on you and on the depth and richness and peace and joy of real connection.
And I get it. You hide because these questions and that kind of connection are hard and scary and you will have to face the mistakes you’ve made and the ugly things you have done to others. You don’t think you can face that. Maybe it will hurt. It probably will. But wouldn’t it be worth it to settle these issues in this life before it is over?
