Sometimes, we get stuck in one stage. Our growth and evolution is stifled. Life seems stagnant. Why does this happen and what do about it? In previous articles, we discussed the criminal behavior that results from being stuck in Stages 3, 5, or 7 for too long, in extreme cases. Here, I want to talk about the more typical, normal getting stuck and what to do about it.
Being stuck in one stage feels like your life is a movie clip on repeat. Every day is Groundhog Day. For example, if you are stuck in Stage Two, you tell yourself stories about your experiences, recounting them over and over every single day, ever moving beyond it. If you are stuck in Stage Three, you are in a desperate search to meet your needs that never seems to end. Being stuck in Stage Four looks like a never ending trail of people who need help, at the expense of your own needs.
Being stuck in Stage Five is the most common problem for people in developed countries today. And election seasons only serve to keep you there much longer. Being stuck in Stage Five means continual anger, offense and fear as you desperately track your political party in their courageous battle with the other. You fear how things might turn out if the other party prevails. You are angry at their leaders. You are offended at their supporters and everything they say. It dominates your world day and night. You check the headlines every day. Yikes.
Being stuck in Stage Six is a good bit different. While still largely dominated by the news, your desire to live and let live makes life pretty good really. There is an enjoyable arrogance about being stuck in this Stage. You like to tell everyone how right you are. But there is a low level frustration that you just can’t shake. You blame it on the opposing political party but don’t do much about it.
Stage Seven, can be dark or fun, depending on how many times you have been here before. If you become stuck in the dark night of the soul the first time around, you are in significant danger of self sabotage and suicidal thoughts. Becoming stuck in Stage Seven on subsequent rounds can look at first like rampant innovation, before turning to rampant indecision.
Being stuck in one stage too long amplifies the nature and character of that stage. For some stages, that can be a good thing. Being stuck in Stages 8-11 amplifies joy, purpose, connectedness, oneness, consciousness, intuition, and balanced altruism. Nothing bad there. So how did you become stuck in the first place? In each stage, we have a set of tasks to complete. If we don’t complete the tasks, we can become stuck. For example, if you have a significant portion of needs not being met, you will not get out of Stage Three until you meet them, and the desperation to meet your needs will grow until you do something about it. Similarly, if you do not elevate your ideology to the level of principles, you will not get out of Stage Five.
So what can we do to get unstuck? Do the homework. Each stage has tasks that need to be done and questions to be considered. Do the tasks. Consider the questions. Then you will move forward. Not every task is easy, but the roadmap is clear.
