How we define our success can make the difference between misery and joy. The good news is that how we define our success is entirely up to you. For example, if success to you is running an eight minute mile, your success is contingent on your actions and your actions alone. If, however, success to you is uniting humanity in peace, your success is contingent on the actions of billions of people. This is, as I have painfully and gratefully learned, a recipe for stress with a side of nihilism. Not tasty.
Those of us with larger than life goals and missions are often pre-programmed to carry out the mission. In other words, dropping the mission leads to misery. Only pursuing the mission brings joy. So pursue the mission we must. But how do you pursue a global mission and not let your success depend on the actions of humanity at large?
It is the same problem we face as parents. Too often we define our success as a parent by what our children do or don’t do. It is a guaranteed disaster. This is exactly what leads parents to become overbearing control freaks. Likewise, if your definition of success hinges on the actions of anyone other than you, whether it depends on your neighborhood, your town, your country, your leaders, or humanity itself, you will be quickly trapped into a controlling mindset that keeps you from letting people be themselves. Nobody wins in these scenarios.
But one tiny tweak in your mindset changes everything. Shift your definition of success to YOUR actions, and away from other people’s actions.
Let’s Try it…
Old Mindset: Success is when the large majority of 8 Billion people have found peace.
New Mindset: Success is when I make a consistent effort every day to help accelerate the journeys of those who desire it towards peace.
Old Mindset: Success looks like a million customers.
New Mindset: Success looks like me making effort every day to grow my business.
Old Mindset: Success in parenting looks like my child growing up to be a lawyer or doctor, etc.
New Mindset: Success in parenting looks like me offering my child unconditional love every day and advice, assistance or guidance when they ask for it.
See the difference? We have not shifted the ultimate goal of world peace, or a thriving business or raising children well. What we have done is ask the question: Given that ultimate goal, what can I do by myself to contribute to that goal? It turns out that there is plenty you can do. And if you focus your definition of success on YOU DOING WHAT YOU CAN DO TO FORWARD THE MISSION, rather than other people doing something you want them to do, you will enjoy the journey without fixating on the destination.
So what can you do by yourself today to forward your mission?
