Creating a shared vision of your future together.
Lastly, once you have an idea of your purpose, create a shared vision of a future that excites you both and has space for you both to grow, explore interests, and fulfill your purposes in joint support. Your future could look like anything you want. Don’t feel like you have to adhere to any menu of options that other people think is right. Here are some questions to get you started…
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What do you want your finances to look like? Do you want to be financially independent? Do you love to work traditional jobs? If you didn’t have to work, what would you do with your time, after all the partying and bucket list items were done? Why?
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What does your ideal day look like? Why?
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If you could live anywhere, where would you live? What town or country? What kind of house or apartment? Why?
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What would you need to do now, to make that life happen?
It’s OK if your ideal life plan takes some years to make happen. You may need to get out of debt and save up to be financially independent. That can take time. You might have children to factor into the mix. You might be ideally happy right where you are, doing what you are doing right now.
You might also have very different ideas of what ideal life looks like. In that case, create a shared vision that accommodates you both. For example, suppose that one of you wants to travel and the other does not. There is nothing wrong with just one of you traveling. You can support each other, traveler and homebody alike, without resentment or attachment. If you have done the other homework thus far, then you each have a solid strength of self and will not be intimated or threatened by each other’s preferences.
Let’s take another example. Suppose that one of you likes your job a lot and wants to keep working while the other wants to retire and chase a life long dream of volunteering within a children’s charity. Why not? There should be no resentment if you are in agreement on that shared vision, and no guilt either. If you are each doing what you really want to do, resentment and attachment do not enter the equation. It is only when one of you is held back or holding yourself back that resentment and attachment cause problems.
Encouraging and appreciating their natural intuition.
We all have a natural intuition. We might call it a gut feeling, or a vibe. You may have noticed that it has never led you astray. Just like a muscle, you intuition gets stronger with use. Learning to listen to it is a skill that you can continually improve. First, as you might expect, learn to listen to your own intuition. Practice recognizing the difference between being compelled from a place of intuition versus a fear driven impulse. Even as you work on honing your own intuition, you can encourage and appreciate your partner’s intuition. When you affirm their intuition on a decision, you are helping them make it stronger. Your combined intuition on any issue is a powerful advisor. So encourage each other to listen to your gut.
Seeing their divine light.
In each of us is the spark of the divine. The divine light. Sometimes, when your love is happy, they just seem to glow. See the light inside that radiates through them. Try this… See them as an angel, god or goddess. What if they were? How would you treat them differently? Pretend for a while that they are, in fact, an angel here on earth, or a god or goddess incarnate. Treat them that way and see what happens.
Every religion in the world says, in one way or another, that The divine is in us; in our hearts, guiding us along, part of every cell of our bodies, and so forth. Think about that. Every cell of your being carries the divine light. That’s a lot of responsibility. You are inherently divine. And your partner is inherently divine. You are each and together the divine walking this earth, learning about itself. If you treat yourself as sacred, you will act a little different. If you treat your partner as sacred, they will respond by being exactly that.
Sometimes it is easier to see the divine light in someone else. So in this one case, start by seeing it in your partner and have them see it in you. That will make it easier to see it in yourselves.
