Birthday Induced Existentialism

Strap in, this gets dark – or maybe it just gets real… As my physical manifestation marks 43 trips around the sun, my soul feels new and naive. I track the same orbit around the same star but always feel like I am somewhere new and unfamiliar. Why? Because we are speeding through the universe and literally are always somewhere new, yes, but also because the temporary manifestations of my self and everyone else’s self, and the temporary manifestations that are the buildings, cities, trees, animals, and all, are in a constant state of evolution – of coming into being, and changing. In other words, this world is new and different every moment. It’s dizzying. I long to sit quietly and be the oneness inside of me – still and unchanging for just a little while.

Maybe I’m getting tired of tracking the temporary and acting like each evolution is a big freaking deal. The absurdity of how everyone freaks out at the temporary evolutions of politics, opinion, fashion and people. Humanity creates these things, acts like they are important and occupies itself with lashing out ugly opinions and even uglier defenses of those same opinions. – your little temporary self, knowing it is not real, piles onto itself opinions of every manner to appear more substantial. These paper opinions are based on even more temporary imagined aspects of our own fleeting existence. But how we defend them!

The reality is that we have been thrown seemingly unwillingly into this existence; this life. There are a few rules that seem to govern it:

• AWARENESS:
• • You will be aware of the random and absurd nature of your existence
  • You will exist in two parts: one physical and the other energy
  • Your energy being will be tied to that of everything else and able to influence it
• ZERO PURPOSE:
• • You will want to feel purposeful even though there is no obvious purpose
  • You must make one for yourself, if you want to have one.
  • There are no rules for how you are to spend your time
  • You can spend it any way you like
• TEMPORARY NATURE:
• • everything dies or passes out of existence at random points; including you
  • that is, you are here for a finite yet unknown timespan
  • so is everything and everyone else
• ZERO CONSEQUENCE:
• • Anything you do, say, create or affect will eventually pass out of existence
  • therefore you can have ZERO effect on the long term future of this existence.
  • That is, your life ultimately has ZERO consequence outside of your life and the lives of a few others.
• LIMITED EFFECT:
• • The only thing you can affect is your own experience while you are here and the experience of a small handful of others by your actions or example. A rare few will be able to influence millions or even billions but for most of us, that’s just not in the cards.
  • Some actions and/or experiences will bring you or others joy, some will be neutral, and some will bring you or others pain.
  • Focusing on the experiences of others can bring joy, but too much can bring pain as you neglect your own experience
  • Focusing on your own experience can bring joy, but too much can bring pain as you begin to feel isolated
• REQUIREMENTS
• • (1) You must maintain your physical being and
  • (2) maintain an income source (for food, shelter and clothing)
  • Those are the ONLY requirements… anything else you think you HAVE TO do is purely imaginary.