{"id":983,"date":"2018-09-22T17:26:02","date_gmt":"2018-09-22T17:26:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/?post_type=project&p=983"},"modified":"2026-08-07T19:13:40","modified_gmt":"2026-08-07T23:13:40","slug":"your-favorite-misery","status":"publish","type":"project","link":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/your-favorite-misery\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Favorite Misery"},"content":{"rendered":"
I have a friend who loves to grieve. Long term illnesses, deaths of close or even distant family members. Strangers will do in a pinch. But they are most likely to just revisit past losses.<\/div>\n
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I once knew a wonderfully successful man by any standard with a very exciting life who loved to be annoyed. He was not happy unless he had something to complain about.<\/div>\n
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It makes me wonder what negative emotion is my go-to misery of choice. Aloneness – I go there more often than others. Unworthiness maybe. Poor me, nobody will be at my funeral, nobody gives a crap about me. Yep – that\u2019s it. That\u2019s the one. Paranoia about being used and abandoned, convinced that most people\u2019s displays of caring are temporary before they turn on you or simply abandon you. I know, it\u2019s a dark way to view humanity. In my defense, my history has shown this to be true more often than not. But I certainly don\u2019t need to dwell on the sad reality. (why be sad about reality?)<\/div>\n
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I suspect that we each have a favorite misery. That even if we rarely go negative, when we do, we have a favorite negative emotion: grief, anger, worry, annoyance, offense, etc.<\/div>\n
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If you can call yourself out on your favorite misery, I wonder if it would dissipate?<\/div>\n
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UPDATE: I have recently focused on creating connection – to myself, to this moment, to others, to my reality, etc. And this negative perspective seems to have disappeared completely.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A short reflection on how each person has a habitual favorite negative emotion, whether grief, worry, aloneness, or annoyance, and a suggestion that naming one’s default misery and cultivating connection to self can make it dissipate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":984,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","footnotes":""},"project_category":[1886,31],"project_tag":[592,596,180,311,598,595,594,597,345,197,285],"series":[],"class_list":["post-983","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-57challenges","project_category-observations","project_tag-aloneness","project_tag-annoyance","project_tag-connection","project_tag-emotions","project_tag-favorite","project_tag-grief","project_tag-misery","project_tag-offense","project_tag-sadness","project_tag-self-discovery","project_tag-self-growth"],"acf":{"recommend_blurb":"For readers ready to notice their own emotional patterns. A short, insightful nudge to name your habitual negative emotion and discover that awareness and self-connection can loosen its grip.","citation_snippet":"Dr. Kathryn Messegee (Kathryn Colleen), \"Your Favorite Misery,\" https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/your-favorite-misery\/","topics":["mind","growth"],"related_book":"","buy_url":""},"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/Sadness.png","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/CCA57320-6DC3-4284-BC27-49E433028503.jpeg","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/on-life-being-human\/id1360368906","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/2nq6d35q9nFAFlanaJc2Do","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/feed\/podcast\/on-life-being-human","embedCode":"

Your Favorite Misery<\/a><\/blockquote>