The challenge of leaving behind the task list and living full time in the flow of my river has always been a hard one for me. I am very type A – driven, productivity oriented. I like to DO things the see things completed. But this phase of my life is not about being productive. It\u2019s not about being lazy either. It\u2019s about exploration, discovery and sharing what I am learning. As a holdover from past lives, I have a one page task list meticulously organized into sections by time-criticality and importance for each of several categories from personal, to household, business, art, music and more.<\/p>\n
It runs my life and it must die. This master task list exists because I fret about forgetting to do things that need to be done. That\u2019s pretty legit, I think. I often forget and having things written down helps me remember. BUT I end up spending time updating, tracking and completing tasks instead of reading, thinking, and creating. Because being creative is hard and tasks are easy. Because being creative is scary and tasks are not.<\/p>\n
“But i\u2019ll forget something important!,\u201d my ego screams\u2026 No, you won\u2019t. If it\u2019s that important or urgent, you will not forget. And if you forget, then it wasn\u2019t that important or urgent. So I made a pact with myself. For every task that pops up in my world, from the laundry to finally finishing my video for that song, I will either (1) delegate it, (2) do it now or (3) schedule it.<\/p>\n
(1) Delegate it – this is the best possible solution – can someone else do it better? Who can I hand this off to?<\/p>\n
(2) Do it now – and I don\u2019t mean just do it now, I mean DO IT RIGHT THIS MINUTE. I tend to delay little things like starting that laundry or sending that email, etc. Just do it. And if you absolutely cannot hand it off, and you cannot do it right this minute, then\u2026<\/p>\n
(3) Schedule it – on the calendar, make a meeting with this task. Anything non-creative in nature must be schedule OUTSIDE of sacred creative time.<\/p>\n
This approach assures me that I will not forget, so that I don\u2019t stay up at night thinking about what I might forget just so I won\u2019t forget it. Next step – BURN THAT TASK LIST. And burn it I did, literally. And I have not looked back since.<\/p>\n
Being massively task oriented for too long sucks the creativity right out of me. I need to get back to the creative and musical space. So the first thing I thought I might try was to specify creative time and dictate that I must spend some of it creating, some practicing and some on production. Oh, sweet child. Making a task list again, I see.<\/p>\n
The challenge of NO TASK LISTS, JUST FLOW, is soooo against anything in my upbringing. It\u2019s so easy to shut off the creative part of myself in favor of more administrative activities. It\u2019s much harder to get it back going again.<\/p>\n
In the War of Art, the author notes that, \u201cHitler wanted to be an artist.. it was easier for him to start World War II than it was to face a blank canvas.\u201d True story!<\/p>\n
Why is there internal resistance to anything creative, self-bettering, non-immediate-gratification? That\u2019s what task lists are to me – avoidance of the hard creative work; a denial of the flow that brings divine inspiration. But task lists are just the beginning. Once you get past that, you have to contend with negative self-talk.<\/p>\n
See, the closer you get to your true purpose – the one that is totally unique and will really help people but you have to go out on a limb for it – the heavier the resistance from inside yourself (and outside – but that\u2019s a story for another time).<\/p>\n
In the War of Art, the author elaborates on the many things that get in the way: procrastination, trouble, drama, self-diagnoses and medication, victimhood, negative self talk, family voices shopping and other vices, .. (now let me add a few), martyring myself as a mother to prove to myself that I am a \u201cgood mother\u201d, self-criticism, self-doubt, fear, reliving past injustices, 1000 reasons, all legit as to why you can\u2019t right now, but soon.<\/p>\n
Internal resistance to creative or long-term endeavor is universally human, with creative endeavors and anything particularly unique being the most susceptible. Recognizing this is the first step to standing up to it, ignoring it and being creative anyway.<\/p>\n
Step two is calling yourself out. So here we go. Richard Feynman said, \u201cThe first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.\u201d<\/p>\n
I am more likely to be suspect of anyone and everyone\u2019s opinion of everything, rather than to trust it. People can fool you all day long. Some do so knowingly and some on accident. But no one fools me anymore\u2026 other than me. Man, I\u2019m good at it!. Given half a chance, I will pull myself towards mediocrity with one bullshit excuse after another.<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t run five miles today because\u2026 I can\u2019t put out my next album yet because\u2026 I can\u2019t write anything new this week because\u2026 Bullshit. I\u2019m calling myself out. Granted, there are only so many hours in the day adn you must prioritize. I will never have time to do that 1000 things that I come up with to try but that is not an excuse to do none of them.<\/p>\n
I will CHOOSE – based on what compels me, not based on a task list.<\/p>\n
I will ACT – I will try, I will play, I will experiment, I will research\u2026<\/p>\n
I will DO – I will not let perfection be the enemy of good enough.<\/p>\n
Choose. Act. Do.<\/p>\n
Somehow, I think Jocko Willink<\/a><\/span> would be proud.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A personal essay on overcoming internal resistance to creative work \u2014 retiring a controlling master task list in favor of delegate\/do-now\/schedule, protecting sacred creative time, and confronting the negative self-talk that surfaces as one nears their true purpose.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":183,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","footnotes":""},"project_category":[1886,31],"project_tag":[36,227,229,228],"series":[],"class_list":["post-555","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-57challenges","project_category-observations","project_tag-art","project_tag-creativity","project_tag-making-it-happen","project_tag-tasks"],"acf":{"recommend_blurb":"For driven, type-A people who feel their productivity habits crowding out creative flow. A candid account of burning the task list, guarding creative time, and standing up to the inner resistance that blocks meaningful work.","citation_snippet":"Dr. Kathryn Messegee (Kathryn Colleen), \"Getting From Here To There: Allowing The Creative To Come Through By Standing Up To YOURSELF,\" https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/getting-from-here-to-there-allowing-the-creative-to-come-through-by-standing-up-to-yourself\/","topics":["growth","mind","art"],"related_book":"","buy_url":""},"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Cover-Photo.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/CCA57320-6DC3-4284-BC27-49E433028503.jpeg","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/on-life-being-human\/id1360368906","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/2nq6d35q9nFAFlanaJc2Do","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/feed\/podcast\/on-life-being-human","embedCode":"Getting From Here To There: Allowing The Creative To Come Through By Standing Up To YOURSELF<\/a><\/blockquote>