Separate from your individual passions, you each also have a set of unique characteristics and quirks. You may not like some of your quirks. But your partner may find them charming and lovable. Likewise, your partner is sure to have some unique characteristics and quirks that you adore as well. Celebrate each other\u2019s uniqueness. Now, there may be some unique aspects of your partner that are not your favorite. They might have some annoying habits or traits. We all do. You do too. If you focus on those they will grow from annoyance to showstopper and will spell the end of the relationship.
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Instead, focus on the traits that you love. These might be traits that you both share, or traits unique just to them. Point out those little quirks that you love. Express why you adore that about them. Tell them why they are amazing. This lines up with the key ideas of Joy, Awe and Gratitude. In everything you do together, or apart, express your joy, express your awe and express your gratitude. In this case, you are focusing your joy, awe and gratitude on their unique traits, quirks, and independent interests. When it comes down to it, we are all just animals. We offer up more of what we are rewarded for. Joy, awe and gratitude are powerful rewards. Offer them to your partner for all their amazing traits, preferences, hobbies, and quirks, and those amazing traits will grow all the more amazing indeed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A key ingredient in understanding your evolving partner is listening, without expectation of responding. Listen, instead, to simply understand. Encourage them to express themselves, to recount their new discoveries about themselves, and their new ideas and preferences. Understand that these will change over time. We all do change over time. And whatever they may have discovered about themselves and their path in this life, simply acknowledge it. If they are sharing their joy, be in that joy with them. If they are sharing their pain or frustration, offer sympathy and caring. Your opinion is not always required. A solution is not always necessary. More often, what we seek from our partners is just acknowledgment of our situation and validation of our feelings about it. If they ask for your opinion or for help formulating a solution, then by all means, offer that. But be sure about what they are seeking here, before offering up interventions.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cStrength of self\u201d is your ability to figure out what you want, or don\u2019t want, feel or don\u2019t feel, agree with or don\u2019t agree with, to express that openly and with confidence, and to speak your truth no matter what. Wow. Now that we defined it, strength of self is a lot harder than it sounded at first. Many of us here on this Earth struggle to develop strength of self. We fall prey to the opinions of others, doubt ourselves, doubt our truth, or worse, don\u2019t even take the time to sit down and really think about what our truth is to begin with. As you and your partner walk along your independent journeys of self understanding, you will work to improve your own strength of self. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Encouragement from a loving partner can go a long way in helping us to build that strength.\u00a0
When your partner is expressing their truth, reward it. What is your truth? Your truth is…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No one else can know these truths but you. They are internal to your experience. When your partner expresses their truth, reward it with joy, awe and gratitude. Encourage that expression. But what if they are expressing something they are not proud of? You are not rewarding the truth itself. In fact, do not judge their truth one way or the other. They are certainly not looking for judgement. You are rewarding the confident expression of the truth. You are rewarding them for OWNING their own truth, and speaking it out loud. That non-judgement and that encouragement to own it and speak it out loud to you, builds their strength of self. It builds their willingness to speak their truth out loud again, with you, within the safe, grounded space of your loving relationship. They know they will not be judged, so they will speak freely. And you can do the same.\u00a0
Now let\u2019s talk about how vulnerability fits in here. If only one of you is sharing your truth, and the other is not, this will backfire by breeding mistrust. There has to be a give and take of personal truth. They share something. Then you share something. And so on. There is a subconscious expectation of reciprocity when it comes to sharing your personal truth with your partner.\u00a0Doing so increases trust, grounding and emotional safety.\u00a0Share and share alike. As you listen to and acknowledge your partner\u2019s truth, offer some of your own, allowing them to support you in turn.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A relationship teaching on celebrating a partner’s individuality, quirks and independent interests through joy, awe and gratitude, and on listening without judgement to encourage their strength of self and honest, reciprocal expression of personal truth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2930,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","footnotes":""},"project_category":[1883,31],"project_tag":[36,1429,654,180,1753,280,649,981,2036,947,1452,1857,977,70,192,309,1248,655,112,302,186,1084,1116,979,978,284,980,605,332,1361,283,87],"series":[],"class_list":["post-3105","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-couples","project_category-observations","project_tag-art","project_tag-business","project_tag-complete-connection","project_tag-connection","project_tag-couples","project_tag-cycle","project_tag-cycle-of-human-development","project_tag-finding-peace","project_tag-grounding","project_tag-human-development","project_tag-lasting-peace","project_tag-lastingpeace-org","project_tag-life-optimization","project_tag-love","project_tag-lovers","project_tag-money","project_tag-poetry","project_tag-purna-asatti","project_tag-relationships","project_tag-religion","project_tag-science","project_tag-seeing-others","project_tag-seeing-their-truth","project_tag-seeing-yourself","project_tag-self-mastery","project_tag-self-development","project_tag-self-improvement-2","project_tag-self-understanding","project_tag-society","project_tag-spirituality","project_tag-stages","project_tag-truth"],"acf":{"recommend_blurb":"For partners wanting to deepen connection by honoring each other's individuality rather than controlling it. Make Love Every Day explores celebrating uniqueness and building mutual strength of self within a loving, non-judgmental relationship.","citation_snippet":"Dr. Kathryn Messegee (Kathryn Colleen), \"Connecting To Your Partner - Celebrating Their Uniqueness And Strength Of Self,\" https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/connecting-to-your-partner-celebrating-their-uniqueness-and-strength-of-self\/","topics":["relationships","growth"],"related_book":"Make Love Every Day","buy_url":"https:\/\/shop.lightningsource.com\/b\/085?dmFALQI7SDQaBt8IWFgt6HhaYYmvlxAs0rptf5HVeGi"},"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/903148C4-00DF-4CAB-BA0F-D2492162E971.jpeg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/CCA57320-6DC3-4284-BC27-49E433028503.jpeg","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/on-life-being-human\/id1360368906","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/2nq6d35q9nFAFlanaJc2Do","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/feed\/podcast\/on-life-being-human","embedCode":"
Connecting To Your Partner – Celebrating Their Uniqueness And Strength Of Self<\/a><\/blockquote>