Connecting to your boss might feel like a precarious or outright terrifying thing to do. Maybe you like your manager. That\u2019s great! Then you have a reason to connect. Or maybe you don\u2019t like your manager at all. This is unfortunately common. If you don\u2019t like your boss, I would argue that you have an even bigger reason to connect. People don\u2019t leave jobs or organizations, they leave managers, most of the time. And similarly, people don\u2019t lay-off or fire people they like. It would serve you well to be someone your boss generally likes. Why? Because then you are the last to be laid off and the first person they think of for promotion and other opportunities. I\u2019m not saying you should suck up or be a brown nose. Nobody likes a yes-man. What I AM saying is that you should form an actual human connection to your boss, because they are human and you are human too.\u00a0
If you can see your boss as human just like you, you can see what stage they are in when they come to work, and you can help them maintain a stage that is good for them and simultaneously good for you.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, suppose your boss comes in one day in Stage Three and is acting like a self centered jerk. You can just avoid them. That might work best. But what if you need something from them? Maybe you need their approval on a new policy that would benefit the team. Maybe you need their approval for a business trip or opportunity for yourself. Maybe you have a team meeting today and you just don\u2019t want to deal with them in self-centered jerk mode.
As much as you would hope that THEIR boss, or their colleagues would have addressed this and shifted them into a better stage first thing this morning, it may come down to YOU to manage the manager.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how do you do that? It would be incredibly inappropriate to pry into their personal life. Managers rarely ever let their teams see them as human with personal challenges unless they absolutely must. So don\u2019t ask. You\u2019ll know just based on their initial behavior. Use the techniques from Connecting To Your Team. But use a \u201clight\u201d version. Simply ask questions that gently steer them into an organizational focus, and then toward the stage you need to them to be in. Keep it work focused. Start in Stage Three asking about the needs of the organization. Then move \u00a0to Stage Four, and discuss the needs of the team. Then ask for what you need. It seems simple, but if you get this out of order, you will snap them back into focusing on their own needs, instead of your request.\u00a0
But wait, you say! Isn\u2019t this manipulating people into other stages without their knowledge or consent? Didn\u2019t you say not to do that? I did say not to do that. But in the case of your boss… if their own manager and colleagues have failed them, do the job. Just do it. A manger in Stage Three is a liability to the company and everyone around them. Please. Help us all. And don\u2019t worry… they will be right back to Stage Three as soon as they leave work, and possibly as soon as you leave the room.\u00a0
Why? Because we are doing the light version here. Real permanent shifts from any one stage to another require the individual in question to do the tasks and think about the big questions in a focused way for themselves. Because you don\u2019t know the real cause of their current stage, and you are lower than them on the totem pole, you cannot exact any long lasting effect. So I will give you free license here.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Connecting to your boss is about listening, recognizing what stage they are in today, and shifting that to the most optimal stage for their job. While this should really be done by THEIR boss, or secondarily by their own colleagues, the responsibility might ultimately fall to you. Either way. Help your boss to optimize their efforts for the sake of your work and your organization at large.\u00a0
From a management and leadership perspective, this is all about optimization. You are seeking to optimize each person\u2019s mindset at each level, for their individual job. That includes YOU too! So carefully consider how you are feeling and thinking as you begin your work each day. You can walk yourself through these same stages, just like you would anyone else.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A workplace teaching on connecting with your manager through the stages-of-development model \u2014 reading which stage they arrive in and gently guiding them toward the mindset best suited to the work at hand.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2993,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","footnotes":""},"project_category":[1882,31],"project_tag":[36,1973,1429,654,180,900,1767,1753,280,649,981,1732,947,37,1452,1857,977,69,1866,1012,655,302,651,979,978,284,980,1361,283,1865,1096,1864],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2987","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-business","project_category-observations","project_tag-art","project_tag-boss","project_tag-business","project_tag-complete-connection","project_tag-connection","project_tag-consciousness","project_tag-consciousness-mastery","project_tag-couples","project_tag-cycle","project_tag-cycle-of-human-development","project_tag-finding-peace","project_tag-global-peace","project_tag-human-development","project_tag-kathryn-colleen","project_tag-lasting-peace","project_tag-lastingpeace-org","project_tag-life-optimization","project_tag-music","project_tag-personal","project_tag-podcasts","project_tag-purna-asatti","project_tag-religion","project_tag-roadmap","project_tag-seeing-yourself","project_tag-self-mastery","project_tag-self-development","project_tag-self-improvement-2","project_tag-spirituality","project_tag-stages","project_tag-understanding-people","project_tag-work","project_tag-writing"],"acf":{"recommend_blurb":"For employees who want a healthier, more effective relationship with their manager. Offers a stage-based approach to understanding and working with your boss, drawn from The Connected Business.","citation_snippet":"Dr. Kathryn Messegee (Kathryn Colleen), \"The Stages At Work - Connecting To Your Boss,\" https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/the-stages-at-work-connecting-to-your-boss\/","topics":["business","growth"],"related_book":"The Connected Business","buy_url":"https:\/\/shop.lightningsource.com\/b\/085?xvQ1Hpo5J2bCybmotv9ST6hsN4i8aEo28ICrEA67ObY"},"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/29BBB257-CBAD-4021-8A03-851D35187C9D.jpeg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/CCA57320-6DC3-4284-BC27-49E433028503.jpeg","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/on-life-being-human\/id1360368906","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/2nq6d35q9nFAFlanaJc2Do","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/feed\/podcast\/on-life-being-human","embedCode":"
The Stages At Work – Connecting To Your Boss<\/a><\/blockquote>