{"id":2825,"date":"2020-04-20T15:29:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-20T15:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/?post_type=project&#038;p=2825"},"modified":"2026-08-07T18:17:51","modified_gmt":"2026-08-07T22:17:51","slug":"connecting-to-your-partner-building-safety","status":"publish","type":"project","link":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/connecting-to-your-partner-building-safety\/","title":{"rendered":"Connecting To Your Partner &#8211; Building Safety"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">After building trust with your partner, the next step is building a sense of safety. Trust is an assessment of risk, and in that sense includes feeling emotionally safe that your needs will be met and your fears abated. Now, safety in the sense of physical safety must be solidified. While emotional safety suggests physical safety, you should not assume that is a foregone conclusion. Physical safety includes bodily autonomy, and feeling protected from outside physical threats.<br><br>Protecting your partner from outside threats should be easy enough. Pay attention to your partner\u2019s fears. If they fear any particular outside threat, take it seriously and offer protection.\u00a0<br>Bodily autonomy means having command of your own physical space. Different people like different amounts of physical contact like hugs, kisses, touch, holding hands, etc. It is critical to understand and respect your partner\u2019s preferences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Often, partners find each other in part based on how much touch, and what kind of touch they prefer. But make sure you have discussed this. A conversation about the kinds of everyday physical interaction you prefer and how much can be something of an aphrodisiac.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Do you like surprise hugs?<\/li><li>Do you like to hold hands?<\/li><li>Do you like to cuddle?<\/li><li>Do you like it when your partner touches you in passing? Where is that kind of touch acceptable or desired?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your partner, and you, need to know that your preferences are respected. If touch is not OK, even just today or right now, it has to be encouraged to say so, and not a cause for offense. Absolute honesty is important here, as in every single aspect we will discuss. Honesty is to be rewarded and praised and never to be taken to mean anything about the other partner. Each partner\u2019s preferences are only about them.\u00a0<br><br>The foundation of honesty that you are building here in these early steps is just as important as the understanding you are building of each other. Practice it daily.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A relationship teaching on building physical and emotional safety with a partner after trust, covering protection from outside threats, bodily autonomy, and honest conversation about each person&#8217;s touch preferences and boundaries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1188,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","footnotes":""},"project_category":[1883,31],"project_tag":[36,1429,654,180,280,649,981,947,1452,1857,977,309,1248,655,112,302,186,979,978,284,980,605,332,1361,283],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2825","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-couples","project_category-observations","project_tag-art","project_tag-business","project_tag-complete-connection","project_tag-connection","project_tag-cycle","project_tag-cycle-of-human-development","project_tag-finding-peace","project_tag-human-development","project_tag-lasting-peace","project_tag-lastingpeace-org","project_tag-life-optimization","project_tag-money","project_tag-poetry","project_tag-purna-asatti","project_tag-relationships","project_tag-religion","project_tag-science","project_tag-seeing-yourself","project_tag-self-mastery","project_tag-self-development","project_tag-self-improvement-2","project_tag-self-understanding","project_tag-society","project_tag-spirituality","project_tag-stages"],"acf":{"recommend_blurb":"For couples deepening trust who want to talk openly about physical boundaries, touch and safety. Reflects the intimacy-building approach of Make Love Every Day.","citation_snippet":"Dr. Kathryn Messegee (Kathryn Colleen), \"Connecting To Your Partner - Building Safety,\" https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/connecting-to-your-partner-building-safety\/","topics":["relationships"],"related_book":"Make Love Every Day","buy_url":"https:\/\/shop.lightningsource.com\/b\/085?dmFALQI7SDQaBt8IWFgt6HhaYYmvlxAs0rptf5HVeGi"},"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/helping.png","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/CCA57320-6DC3-4284-BC27-49E433028503.jpeg","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/on-life-being-human\/id1360368906","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/2nq6d35q9nFAFlanaJc2Do","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/feed\/podcast\/on-life-being-human","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Wo9gItmEr7\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/connecting-to-your-partner-building-safety\/\">Connecting To Your Partner &#8211; Building Safety<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/connecting-to-your-partner-building-safety\/embed\/#?secret=Wo9gItmEr7\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Connecting To Your Partner &#8211; Building Safety&#8221; &#8212; Dr. Kathryn Colleen, PhD\" data-secret=\"Wo9gItmEr7\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! 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