No one makes it to adulthood without scars. Our bodies and minds are both scared from our experiences. This is not an excuse to be a victim. This is a fact of human existence. And the scars do not stop coming just because we reach eighteen. Life keeps happening. And it drapes onto us emotional baggage; scars that ache when triggered by what feels like the past. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How did they get there? It is a simple amygdala response. If ever anything scared you, threatened you, or simply landed you in a bad situation, your amygdala responds by creating a permanent record, a scar in your mind. Every time you encounter a similar situation, that scar will activate, warning you to avoid repeating the same mistakes. It sounds like a great system.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The problem with this built-in survival mechanism is that it makes us act irrationally. It makes us treat our new spouse like they are the old partner every time the new spouse does something that reminds us of some distant past situation. It makes us feel unsafe when we really are safe now. Worst of all, it makes us preemptively lash out at just the hint of the possibility of past similarity. It makes us assume the worst, expect the worst from others, and it blinds us to the beauty of our current reality. It keeps us living in the past, and worrying about the future.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, you can heal these emotional scars. The process is simple, but not always easy.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First, practice being mindful of your thoughts and feelings. When you feel any strong negative emotion, recognize it. Name it. You might find that your baggage has a signature way of appearing. For example, do you notice a trend that if you are yelling, or crying, that baggage is at the root?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then, detach from it and explore it for what it can teach you.\u00a0Ask yourself …<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you do not like the idea of waiting for your emotional baggage to pop up, and you would like to accelerate this process, you can actively dig\u00a0deep to uncover your own pain from the past and work through it. In other words, trigger your own baggage, so you can release it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are many ways to do this… you might find a good counselor or therapist. You might find a friend who wants to do the same and help each other. Or you might work alone with a journal.\u00a0
The trick is to find where the scars might be, and focus on that incident to reveal any leftover issues you have not yet let go of. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Think back on your past from day one. What major incidences do you remember? What was your childhood like? Tell your counselor, friend or journal about your friends, what made you angry, what were your parents like, what made you sad? If you were crying back then, what was the most likely reason? What was school like? What traumatic events did you endure?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is important to remember that traumatic is a relative term. If the child in you thought it was traumatic, then it likely created a scar in your mind. Don\u2019t ignore it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Emotional scars and baggage typically form from our relationships with friends, parents, and significant others in childhood and also later in life. Related to this are limiting beliefs and self sabotaging behaviors which are addressed in another set of tasks. For now, focus on trauma and other very negative incidences and how they might have created fears in you about specific situations. Include everything right up to your current age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unpacking your emotional baggage is like peeling an onion. As soon as you think you have resolved the last bit, something new reveals yet another scar that needs to be healed. Obviously, the more trauma you have endured the more work you have ahead of you.\u00a0This will be an ongoing effort that lasts beyond this stage, but it is easier and occurs less often with time.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A Stage Seven practice for recognizing and healing emotional scars formed by the amygdala’s survival responses, using mindfulness, repeated self-inquiry, and journaling or counseling to trace present-day fears to their childhood origins and release them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1050,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","footnotes":""},"project_category":[1886,31],"project_tag":[731,1104,654,851,180,280,649,299,1105,981,1100,947,977,655,1101,979,978,284,980,1094,283,511],"series":[],"class_list":["post-1299","project","type-project","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","project_category-57challenges","project_category-observations","project_tag-baggage","project_tag-childhood","project_tag-complete-connection","project_tag-connecting-to-yourself","project_tag-connection","project_tag-cycle","project_tag-cycle-of-human-development","project_tag-emotion","project_tag-experiences","project_tag-finding-peace","project_tag-healing","project_tag-human-development","project_tag-life-optimization","project_tag-purna-asatti","project_tag-scars","project_tag-seeing-yourself","project_tag-self-mastery","project_tag-self-development","project_tag-self-improvement-2","project_tag-stage-7","project_tag-stages","project_tag-trauma"],"acf":{"recommend_blurb":"For readers carrying emotional baggage that flares up in the present, this offers a step-by-step way to name, explore, and let go of old wounds. A grounding piece within the Purna Asatti stages of self-connection.","citation_snippet":"Dr. Kathryn Messegee (Kathryn Colleen), \"Stage 7 - Connecting To Yourself - Healing Your Scars,\" https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/project\/stage-7-connecting-to-yourself-healing-your-scars\/","topics":["growth","mind"],"related_book":"Purna Asatti","buy_url":"https:\/\/shop.lightningsource.com\/b\/085?6FKQMBFf2pXrcib6QjuQWox9UhpMDSQXoo1kemVL5vh"},"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/thinking.png","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/CCA57320-6DC3-4284-BC27-49E433028503.jpeg","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/on-life-being-human\/id1360368906","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/2nq6d35q9nFAFlanaJc2Do","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/kathryncolleen.com\/studio\/feed\/podcast\/on-life-being-human","embedCode":"
Stage 7 – Connecting To Yourself – Healing Your Scars<\/a><\/blockquote>