Today, I sent my last child off to the first day of his Senior year of High School. That’s not quite right… I stood by, watching, encouraging, telling him that I love him, during the few small moments we had this morning; as he quite self-sufficiently got himself up, got himself ready, and got himself out the door. That’s nothing new. He has been handling his own schedule for years, working since he was fifteen, and cultivating a worldliness that I wish we all had at that age. He is independent by design. In six months, he will be a legal adult. But unlike most of his peers, he will also be a full grown man. The concept of being truly an adult at eighteen faded with the 1970s. But not in our house.
We – parents at large – are so scared of what life will do to our kids. After all, look what it did to us. But fear begets fear. What if we instead send them off from a place of joy, freedom and awe. Look at how amazing they are when they can handle their own lives so competently.
They still make mistakes. They make choices you might not like. But if you can let all that go, and see a free, unique soul making their way in this world, figuring it out; if you can let go of your attachment to their future making up for your past, there is great reward. There is such joy, and relief in that for me as the parent. More than that, there is a reciprocal freedom.
Unbound by my attachment, my son is free, and he returns that freedom to me. Our relationship has morphed slowly and naturally over the past year from parent-child to mentor-mentee. And he actually listens. There is certainly freedom for me in the sense of being able to sell everything and travel the world. But there is another freedom. Knowing he has a grip on his life at best as anyone possibly could, knowing he will come for advice as he needs it, I am free to focus on my mission of peace for all humanity – my son included. This is freedom from worry. This is freedom of energy, soul, spirit and more. I am eternally connected to him, but I desire no control. I can be present with him at any time from anywhere in the world, but only to celebrate his growth, to be a sounding board when asked, and to send him balance and peace. Today, I want to dance with joy and cry at the same time with equal joy and relief at having made this momentous milestone. I have less than a year left with him under my roof. And I will savor every second of it as this amazing soul prepares for solo flight. He is ready. I hope I am too.
