I am going through something here. The release of this book is not like the others. This is my eighth book, and the process is easier, just because it is familiar. But the feeling of vulnerability is stronger than ever. This book, Purna Asatti, represents the results of an intimate journey of self understanding. It is the aggregation and methodologies gathered from my darkest, most profound and most joyous times. It is the book that matters.
Within the book, I recommend and aggregate the teachings and methods of more than 50 authors, thinkers, podcasters and spiritual leaders. Naturally, I want each of them to be happy with how they are presented. So I set about contacting them all. I cannot adequately express the nervous mess I was as I carefully looked up and contacted them each. These are the people I look up to. These are the people who formed, unbeknownst to them, a committee to get me through the big questions in life and the critical experiences. They were there (in text and audio form), helping me make sense of it all.
Here is what happened…
It’s really hard to contact the people you have been looking up to from afar. I craved their validation and feared their rejection. I expected, and hoped really, that they would ignore me. Social interaction is hard enough. Social interaction with my heroes might be too much to stand. But everything in my being said I needed to do this. And I know enough to never question my intuition. It is always right. So I made myself sit down and just plow through it.
My nightmare was that Tony Robbins might actually call me and I would be thrust into real time interaction with the intimidatingly large and even more intimidatingly energetic master himself. Tony, forgive me if you call and I cannot find my words.
The hardest note to send, however, was definitely the Dalai Lama. Why? There is no possible way for this amazing man to be nasty to anyone. He is literally the embodiment of compassion. But somewhere deep inside, was a longing for his blessing. A vulnerable, exposed child who just wants the love and kind words of her parents.
That’s when it hit me. These authors, teachers, and thought leaders had become that for me.. a committee of parents. And they didn’t even know it. Of course I was far too shy to tell them that. So I just asked to make sure they were OK with how they were presented in the book. But if I could have found the balls, and if it would not have made everything really freaking awkward, I would have told them what they meant to my journey and asked them outright to tell me that what I am doing is worth it. I would ask them to hold my hand and tell me that there will come a day when I will be that for someone else. But I kept it all business because that’s what we do. We keep it chill so that we don’t look vulnerable. We don’t show others the child that craves validation.
And then the unthinkable happened. A small number of these amazing authors, teachers, and thought leaders actually wrote me back. A few had their people get back to me to say everything looked fine. Just closing the loop felt like a nod to my legitimacy. But a few actually wrote me back personally, and included a few quick words of encouragement. Those few words lifted me up and made me feel worthy of this mission. Although they are certainly inundated with email, they made a point to send a quick note back. And it made all the difference for me.
Here is what I have taken away from this….
We are all vulnerable children craving validation. And that feeling never really goes away, no matter how many books or albums or art pieces or workshops we do. A small personal note with a few words of encouragement can make an enormous impact, especially to those who are relatively new to their mission or area of work.
I feel so very humbled by this seemingly simple exercise in communication. I hope people will not be shy to contact ME. I am just me. And I care very deeply to help you find peace and joy. I WANT to be a part of that process. I am honored to be someone you feel can help. Please do connect with me. You will not be rejected and you will not be ignored. I vow to find a way to lift you up, to temper your self-doubt and help you become the full truth of who you are meant to be.
Once again, life has shown me that it is real connection that makes a difference. Real connection drives humanity forward. And real connection is my mission. Because peace will only be found within each of us, one at a time.
May I help you find the peace you seek?
Purna Asatti,
KC
